No; this isn't about the Vicar dressed up in a white suit thrusting his hips thinking he's a Bee Gee ... this is about two hypochondriacs in action.
It started on Saturday night. I had just about got myself safely ensconced in my favourite pastime (sleeping) having left instructions with Vicar not to forget eldest child who was working in Chester and would be waiting for a lift home at 12.30. All was well.
At ten to eleven all hell broke loose in the Vicarage bedroom, as lights were turned on and a man dropped to my side gasping, grasping his stomach, saying he was in so much pain. Staying calm, I decided it was probably not conducive to the situation to shout at him for waking me up. My brain was working quickly (as it does under stress) and decided that those who know Rick well would agree that he's not the bravest of people. My question (which had to be answered quickly, was -'was this real pain or "pick up an Oscar and pretend" pain?).'
I decided to call his bluff and tell him I'll call a Doctor. When the response of "no, I'll be OK", didn't come, I knew we were in trouble. Now I had to play nurse to the husband and taxi to the child. Not my favourite pastimes. All was not well, and brain ceases to function (as it does under stress).
Fingers fumbling on the telephone and some vague agency told me someone would be with us in twenty minutes or so ... Couldn't wait on vague hope - phoned our Warden. Got him out of bed, and he arrived in 3 minutes flat (fully dressed - for the record). My knight in shining armour - or in a shiny blue Jaguar bringing the hero of the night - the Doctor in a shiny black Saab ... By this time the Vicar was on the floor and I couldn't bear to watch but thought I was doing a good job comforting him when I said in my best medical tone that whilst he was making so much noise he wasn't going to die. Comforting and reassuring, don't you agree?
Made a mental note to pray later!
Doctor and Warden thought it best to take control. And they did. Ambulance was called. Orders were given. Patient was calmed.
I sneaked away to the kitchen. Should I (a) pour myself a very large whiskey? (b) do the washing up? or (c) smoke 12 cigarettes??? Decided on (b) and (c). Doctor caught me, doing (c)!!
I went off (sulking) to pack clean undies and toothbrushes. Stared at dressing gown - damn - knew I should have washed it yesterday. And why can you never find "things" that you put away for an emergency, - in an emergency?!
Taxi was called for eldest child. Youngest child was left sleeping and dreaming. Blue flashing lights of the ambulance followed by flashy blue Jaguar took us to Hospital. Bed was found for Rick and fuss and commotion hovered around him.
Dennis and I were given hot sweet tea and we hushed and whispered to each other amid the noise and clatter of Doctors and Nurses.
There were drips and needles and machines. We won't mention the rubber gloves - but we saw them!!
Eventually, tests discovered Rick was still alive - so we left him comfortable in an uncomfortable bed, promising to return and not forget him.
Youngest child was still sleeping on my arrival home and eldest child had been delivered safely. He waited up for me to hear the news and we shared a bowl of cereal. I mentioned the "rubber gloves". He told me he was much too young to hear about things like that and how would he be able to look Rick in the eye again ... it wasn't his "eye" we were concerned with! I finished his cereal.
Meanwhile, the Warden had work to do! Organising and altering and letting people know. And he did. Only the way knights in shining armour would...
We waited four days for Rick to come home. And every time I began to feel alone... someone called or phoned to let me know I wasn't. And every time I began to feel nobody cared ... someone called or phoned and shared ... that they did...
All is well and all manner of things shall be well.
Lin Gates
(As we go to press, Rick is back in his Ministry among us. I understand he will have to go back to hospital (??after Easter?) for surgery. He needs our prayers at all times in his work. But, please keep him specially in prayer at the moment; as too, pray for Lin and the boys that their anxious moments may be blessed with God's peace.)
W. W. W.